I know, I really know I got a perfect life. A perfect family, a loving friends even it’s not much, and a boyfriend. Well, this boyfriend. He carried many luggages on his back. But he never share it, he never ask help from anybody. He thinks he is strong enough, or he doesn’t care much about it. And yes, he is. He knew it’s freaking heavy, and sometimes it makes him lost. But he doesn’t really care. He doesn’t need anybody. Except God. And here I am. Like anyone says about me. They don’t see me carry many luggage on my back. When I feel exhausted, they’ll be like, “what the fuck. You just carry that little luggage! Look at me! Look at my luggages! They even look like a huge tower!”. I feel really bad about it. Yes, me and this tiny luggage. But I ALWAYS need help from everybody. If you ask me why? Man, I’m sorry. I don’t know either. This is PROBABLY because I don’t have stronger body or mind like you do. OR I don’t have bigger heart like you do. I share it to God too in case you don’t know. I’m not blaming anyone. But please, don’t blame me too. I don’t have any idea WHY. You know how envy I am to be that kind of person? The strong person with big heart? I’m trying so hard. And it’s never enough. I still ask somebody’s help. And people starts to leave me. They just keep going carry their luggages away. And go to a better place. Everyone is there already. 

So today, I realize. It’s not about how many luggage you cary, how heavy it is. It’s all about yourself. How strong and big you are. And I’m not there yet. Just go, my friend. I promise, I will try to be like you. Go and carry that away. I’m sorry for bothering you. See you again dear friend.